


X-Men: First Class Chatroom

by akwardcadabra



Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Angst, Charles Being Concerned, Charles Xavier has a Ph.D in Adorable, Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Discussion of Sexual Subjects, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Light Sexual Innuendos, Lighthearted, M/M, No Smut, Nothing explicit, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post X-Men: First Class, Romance, X-Men: First Class (2011), chatroom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-03-07 07:55:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13430310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akwardcadabra/pseuds/akwardcadabra
Summary: What happens when Hank decides to make a chatroom for everyone at the mansion. Prepare for Fluff, Angst, Humor, Bad Jokes, Romance, Innuendos and more.





	1. A New Chatroom

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anything, but the fanfiction.  
> I'd appreciate comments and maybe even a few suggestions.  
> Please enjoy ^^
> 
> ProfX- Charles  
> Magneato- Erik  
> Mystique- Raven  
> Beast- Hank  
> Banshee- Sean  
> HotHavok- Alex  
> MsMoira-Moira

Beast: I added everyone to this chatroom, right? Did I forget someone?

Mystique: But, why?

ProfX: It’s a nice way to communicate, right?

HotHavok: Raveeen. Why don’t you have a funny username?

Mystique: Like yours? (which is btw not funny)

HotHavok: But true.

Banshee: He is right, though.

Beast: I think her name is creative enough.

HotHavok: Ughh! Yours is boring, too.

Mystique: Erik isn’t even better!

Magneato: It is. MagNEATo.

ProfX: Fits.

Magneato: Thanks.

Banshee: Get a room.

ProfX: I am in my room.

Banshee: Anyways, what are we supposed to do on here?

HotHavok: Sean, sweet bean. You are just supposed to talk here and chat with others.

Banshee: Don’t call me that.

ProfX: Sean, are you ready for trying to fly tomorrow?

Banshee: Sure, you know, after it didn’t work when I jumped from the window into the bushes, I surely want to try jumping from the satellite dish.

Magneato: Please, Sean. You know that this will work out better, because you get a higher ground to start from.

Banshee: Yeah, that totally relaxes me.

HotHavok: If you come over, I can help you relax.

Mystique: This is still a group chat. Can you do this in private?

Banshee: I’ll be right over.

HotHavok: I’ll make you scream like a banshee.

Banshee: I’ll hold you up to that.

Mystique: They are ignoring me.

ProfX: Raven, its young love. As long as they aren’t too explicit, it’s fine.

HotHavok: First, I’ll pull you into my room and kiss you hard.

Banshee: I’m on my way. I was outside. I’m almost there.

ProfX: Okay, cut it out, boys.

HotHavok: Then I’ll rip off all your clothes, while I kiss you senseless.

Banshee: And after that?

ProfX: Sean. Alex. Cut it out.

Magneato: This chat was a mistake.

HotHavok: Then I’ll bend you over my desk.

Banshee: Almost there. I’m literally running.

ProfX: Okay, boys. Stop it. 

HotHavok: And do you know what I’ll do after I bend you over? 

Banshee: Tell me. 

ProfX: Don’t tell him.

HotHavok: Chill, Charles. We’re joking. 

Banshee: Yeah. We wanted to annoy Raven a little. I already know what he’ll do to me.

ProfX: Alright, just please keep it down, Sean.

Banshee: I’ll try. I’ll try to stay in control.

Magneato: Thanks. If anyone needs me, Charles and I will be in his room.

Mystique: I guess I’ll be down in the lab with Hank, where I won’t hear anything.

Beast: Come down. You can keep me company.

ProfX: Alright, I will play chess with Erik now. 

Mystique: I know that they are joking, but I’m so done with this chat already.

Beast: You will get used to it and it’ll be fun.

MsMoira: I regret reading this whole conversation to see what you are talking about. Good luck tomorrow, Sean. And let me know how it went.

Banshee: I can tell you how it’ll go already, because private time with Alex is always good. 

MsMoira: I meant the flying.

Banshee: OH.

HotHavok: Hahaha, Sean, really? 

ProfX: I’ll let you know how the flying went.

MsMoira: Thank you, Charles.

HotHavok: Sean is finally here.

Magneato: Exceptional.

Mystique: No one wanted to know that.

ProfX: Try to keep the volume down.

HotHavok: You two, too.

Magneato: We’re playing chess.

Banshee: Sure you do.

Beast: This chatroom was supposed to be innocent.

Magneato: What were you expecting, honestly?


	2. Erik Did What?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MsMoira. Can someone tell me what happened?
> 
> HotHavok: ERIK PUSHED SEAN OFF THE SATELLITE DISH!

HotHavok: Erik, you can hide, but I will find you!

ProfX: Alex, you need to calm down. Please, try to calm your mind.

HotHavok: Oh, hell no! You know where he is! Where the hell is Erik hiding?

Magneato: I won’t tell you. You are overreacting.

HotHavok: I am overreacting?! Me?

Banshee: Alex, please calm down. I’m fine, really. Just come to my room and we can spend a nice afternoon together. How about that? We could watch a movie and cuddle? I’ll make us popcorn.

HotHavok: Later. I need to find Erik first.

Beast: You need to calm down. Nothing bad could have happened.

HotHavok: Yeah, nothing apart from Sean dying!

Banshee: But I’m fine. I didn’t get hurt. Sure, I was scared, but now I’m fine.

HotHavok: See? He caused you distress!

Mystique: I got to agree with Alex. Erik, that was kind of a bad move.

MsMoira. Can someone tell me what happened?

HotHavok: ERIK PUSHED SEAN OFF THE SATELLITE DISH!

MsMoira: Really? Erik, seriously?

Magneato: He is fine! He wasn’t going to jump and I gave him the little push me needed. Quite literally.

HotHavok: Now he’s hiding from me!

MsMoira: And Charles let you do it?

Banshee: He really didn’t know. He yelled at Erik, though. I heard him, while I was falling.

ProfX: I was really against it.

Magneato: You were thinking the same thing! And he had a great time flying after that.

HotHavok: After he almost fell to his death, because you pushed him, when he was not ready!

Magneato: Oh damn it, Alex. I know you love Sean and you want to impress him, but you don’t have to be so protective of him.

Banshee: I mean it is pretty hot and cute, too.

HotHavok: In that case, I guess I even have my boyfriend’s blessing. So, where are you?

Magneato: And you think I will tell you?

ProfX: 1. I was not thinking the same thing, Erik. 2. Alex, please, calm your mind. Sean is alright and he wants to spend time with you. Maybe, you should just try to calm down and do something with him.

Banshee: Yeah, come to my room and we’ll do something fun, alright?

HotHavok: Fine, but don’t you ever do anything like that ever again. Ever.

Magneato: Ever? Do you want me to do it not ever?

HotHavok: He’s making fun of me! Alright, I’m going to find you! I was trying to settle this nicely!

Banshee: Damn it it, Erik! Really?

Mystique: Erik, was that necessary?

Magneato: Yes.

HotHavok: Well, Sean found me first and he’s urging me to go to his room with him. So just promise to never do something like that again.

Magneato: Fine. I was just trying to help.

HotHavok: You weren’t helping!

HotHavok: Sean told me to calm down. I’ll just rest my case.

Magneato: Alright. I guess I can come out of hiding in the lab now.

HotHavok: So that’s where you are.

ProfX: Alex, don’t come downstairs. Just have fun with Sean.

HotHavok: Oh, I will.

Banshee: We will. Want to tell me what you’re going to do to me?

Mystique: No! You are in the same room!

Banshee: I was trying to annoy Erik, Raven.

Mystique: Not on the group-chat!

Banshee: Fine. I mean you asked sooooo nicely.

Mystique: Haha.

MsMoira: So, is this settled now?

ProfX: I think. I am in my room now and Erik’s with me.

HotHavok: Ew.

ProfX: Not like that.

Beast: How are Alex and Sean?

ProfX: Well, while we were crossing Sean’s room, they were laughing.

Beast: That’s good. I’ll work on the suits now.

Mystique: Can I watch?

Beast: Sure, I love having you around.

ProfX: Aww.

HotHavok: Ew.

MsMoira: Alex, I think your record broke.

Banshee: Hahahaha, that really fits! He sometimes repeats things in real life, too! I never thought about using this idiom! Thanks, Moira.

MsMoira: No problem, Sean. Good to see that you’re fine.

Banshee: I’m better than fine, since Alex and I will be having fun now.

Beast: Ew.

Mystique: Now Hank’s the broken record.

MsMoira: As if you and Raven are any better. You’re always flirting.

ProfX: You know that she is right.

Beast: Whatever, Raven and I are working on the suits, while all of you are having fun.

HotHavok: We are.

Magneato: We know, Alex.

HotHavok: Shut up, Erik.

Magneato: I will, but only because I don’t want to talk to you anymore.

Banshee: Hey, Alex. You’re only looking at the chat room. Pay attention to me!

Banshee: He is paying attention to me, now. Bye!

MsMoira: Alright, I’ll see you guys later this week. Have fun and be safe. And don’t push each other off high objects, please.

ProfX: I’ll try my best at stopping them. See you.

MsMoira: Bye-bye.


	3. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HotHavok: Wait, is Charles going to give us the talk?
> 
> aka. Charles is trying to give Alex and Sean the talk, not realizing that it's a little late for that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little warning for the discussion of sexual intercourse -just in case people don't read the added tags.   
> But they are only discussing it and talking about how important safe, sane and consensual intercourse it.  
> Enjoy ^^

Magneato: Sean, Alex, wherever you are, Charles would like to talk to you two.

Banshee: I didn’t do anything wrong!

Magneato: Why is that your first response? Could it be a lie? Did you do anything wrong?

HotHavok: Well, are we in trouble or not?

ProfX: Erik, I can talk to them myself. Thank you for your help, but I’ll be fine.

Banshee: What’s up?

ProfX: You and Alex are in a relationship, if I’m not mistaken.

Mystique: My, my, what gave it away? Them kissing and being all lovey-dovey during the most inappropriate times?

Magneato: Or them making out at the dinner table, making everyone uncomfortable?

Beast: And you wonder why Raven and I eat in her or my room.

ProfX: I just want to be sure!

HotHavok: Yes, we are in a relationship.

Banshee: Yes, Alex is my boyfriend. Why?

ProfX: Well, have you ever heard of the birds and the bees?

Beast: I can’t believe you, Charles.

Mystique: Really, Charles? Really? They’re not that naïve.

Banshee: Bees? I’m kind of scared of them.

HotHavok: I like birds. Do you want us to go bird watching? Is there a bee’s nest somewhere?

Mystique: I’d like to revise my earlier statement.

ProfX: No, I mean have you ever thought about doing the deed?

Banshee: You mean like a good deed? I’ve helped an old lady with her groceries yesterday.

ProfX: I mean, have you two thought about getting lucky?

HotHavok: The luck of the Irish, am I right?

Banshee: Haha

Magneato: I can’t believe this.

Mystique: Charles is talking about sexual intercourse. Have you thought about having sexual intercourse?

HotHavok: Wait, is Charles going to give us the talk?

ProfX: You see, I totally understand this. You two are in love and you want to explore each other’s bodies. But there are a lot of things that you have to consider.

HotHavok: Charles, I don’t think this is necessary.

ProfX: Of course it is. Well, the first thing that is important is that you two wait until both of you are ready. Always communicate with the other and never continue, if the other feels like it’s going too far. Consent and communication is really important.

Banshee: Charles, Alex is right.

ProfX: And make sure to use protection! I could help you pick something up, if you need me to. I know, you are both male, but it’s still really important.

Mystique: Stop embarrassing them to death.

Beast: I can’t think of a weirder scene than Charles going to the pharmacy with Alex and Sean to pick up protection.

Magneato: Charles, maybe you should listen, if they tell you it’s not necessary.

ProfX: If they need my help picking it up, I will surely help them. I want them to practice safe, sane and consensual intercourse.

Banshee: Charles, can you stop?

ProfX: But I still have so much to tell you that will be important later. Use lubrication, if you want to have penetrative intercourse. I know it’s not all about penetration, but if you want that, use lubrication and prepare thoroughly. Otherwise you may hurt each other or even injure one another.

HotHavok: Got experience with that, I assume? With Erik?

Magneato: Alex, stop.

HotHavok: Ohh, you can embarrass us, but we can’t turn the tides. I see how it is.

ProfX: Mine and Erik’s relationship is not important right now. I just want you to be safe, okay?

Banshee: Charles, you can stop now.

ProfX: No. Listen, it’s important to prepare, but it’s also important to care for one another afterwards. You should talk about what kind of “aftercare” you need. Maybe Sean needs to be held or Alex needs to talk about what you two did only moments before. It’s especially important, if you want to deviate from the vanilla sort of thing.

HotHavok: Experience, as well?

Magneato: Alex, shut up.

HotHavok: With you?

Magneato: Alex!

ProfX: Erik, stop picking fights with him! I want them to listen to me intently and get the most important things. 

Banshee: Charles, we’re fine!

ProfX: Alright, I’ll stop.

HotHavok: Thanks.

ProfX: But first, let me summarize it for you. Because I think I covered everything that is important. You need to prepare with protections and lubrication and if you need help with that, just ask me. Then you need to communicate and start out slowly, until both of you are ready. Then you need to prepare and use the lubrication for that. And during the sex, it’s important to look for signs of discomfort and communicate, as well. And afterwards, you need to take care of the other and listen to what the other needs –maybe they need to cuddle or they are thirsty or hungry.

HotHavok: Charles, thank you, but you can stop now.

ProfX: Alright, but if you have any questions or if you need any help with any preparations or if you need someone to talk to, you can always come to me.

HotHavok: Alright, thanks.

ProfX: Oh and don’t forget to maybe have your first time on a bed. It’s nicer that way, until you both know where and how you like it.

HotHavok: Alright, thanks.

ProfX: Oh and maybe get some water for afterwards, so you won’t have to move afterwards.

HotHavok: Alright, thanks.

ProfX: I forgot something else. If you ever want to explore what things you like that are different from the normal vanilla things, you NEED to talk about it first.

HotHavok: Thank you, Charles. You can stop.

ProfX: And always, ALWAYS communicate.

HotHavok: Screw it. I’ll tell him. Sean and I already did it a couple of times.

Banshee: Why did you tell him?

Mystique: It was fairly obvious. I literally heard you.

Beast: You smashed a window once, Sean.

Banshee: Now you can stop, Charles.

ProfX: Really? Why didn’t you tell me? I could have helped you get everything you needed. We could have talked about this.

Banshee: You’re not our dad.

HotHavok: Yeah, he’s right.

Beast: But Erik and Charles are basically the parents of the X-men. 

ProfX: You could have told me! I just wanted to support you.

Banshee: Look, we appreciate it, but we’re adults. We can deal with this stuff on our own, okay? If we ever need your help or anything, we will come to you. If we ever needed help, you’d probably be the first person, we’d come to.

ProfX: Alright, but at least tell me you’re being safe, sane and consensual.

HotHavok: Of course! I wouldn’t want to hurt Sean. Our safe word is Magneto! :DD

Magneato: Hey! Why?

HotHavok: It’d be the last thing we’d ever say during sex. It’s really good for turning us off, too.

Beast: See, they’re being completely safe.

ProfX: I’m glad. If you ever need someone to talk to, don’t be embarrassed and talk to me, alright?

Banshee: Sure.

Magneato: I’m offended to be honest.

Mystique: Would you rather have them be turned on by the thought of you?

Magneato: No. 

Banshee: So quit complaining. Anyways, if you need me, I’ll be in Alex’s room.

Beast: I would never dare to come close to that room, while you are doing it.

ProfX: So that is why the one window broke. You lied and said it was you getting scared by a spider, Sean. Why didn’t you tell me? 

Banshee: Because it’s really embarrassing to go up to you and be like ‘Hey, I was kind of doing the undercover couple twister with Alex and screamed so loud that I broke a window. Sorry’.

ProfX: You could have told me. Well, next time please tell me. No need to be embarrassed.

Mystique: THE UNDERCOVER COUPLE TWISTER! :D

HotHavok: Sean, hurry up and get in here.

ProfX: If you need anything, call me!

Magneato: Charles, calm down. Next thing we know, you’ll walk right into their room in the middle of them doing it, going all ‘I made you some sandwiches’!

ProfX: Whatever. Let’s play chess.

Mystique: Eww.

ProfX: That was not an innuendo.

HotHavok: Sure!

ProfX: Less communication here, more communicating with Sean.

HotHavok: Yes, Dad!

Magneato: Alex, shut up.

HotHavok: Yes, other Dad!

Mystique: Dadneto.

Magneato: Alright, that’s it, I’m offline.

HotHavok: Update: Sean finally arrived.

Beast: Today on: Information I didn’t ask for.

Banshee: We’ll be offline, bye.

ProfX: Yes, bye.


	4. Erik you prick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik won't stop speaking German, but he's not the only one that's bothering Charles today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for slightly sexual themes; but it's really not that bad.  
> AN: Everything in these brackets "[...]" is only as a translation and not something Erik actually says.  
> Enjoy (and prepare for angst in the next chapters) ^^

Banshee: Charles, why is Erik only answering in German?

HotHavok: Yeah, it’s totally annoying. I wanted to ask for something for Sean and me, but he spoke German.

ProfX: I don’t know, either. He’s doing it to me, too. Even when we do it.

ProfX: And with that I mean playing chess and talking.

Banshee: Suuuuure.

HotHavok: Yes wink wink nudge nudge.

Beast: He did it to me, as well.

Mystique: Me, too.

MsMoira: Even to me.

Magneato: Was gibts neues? [What’s new?]

ProfX: Erik, stop it!

Magneato: Ich soll womit aufhören? [Stop what?]

ProfX: Erik, I’m being serious.

Banshee: Erik, please, can you just tell Alex and I were you keep the condoms?

Banshee: I mean the cookies. Obviously.

ProfX: You could ask me. I said I’d help you two. They are in the upper drawer of his desk.

Mystique: And you know where they are because-?

ProfX: You all know that we are dating anyways. I have to deal with Erik being a prick right now.

Magneato: Was ist das Problem? [What’s the problem?]

ProfX: I don’t understand. I need to go and find my dictionary.

Mystique: Erik, stop it.

Banshee: Charles, they aren’t there. Damn it!

HotHavok: We’ll just look through the room.

ProfX: Don’t!

Banshee: Why?

ProfX: I can’t explain right now.

Mystique: By the way, Charles, I kind of broke a chair with the weights in the training room.

ProfX: Not now. Erik, stop it!

Magneato: Ich denke eher nicht. [I think not]

ProfX: You said no, didn’t you?

Magneato: Ja. [Yes]

ProfX: Great. 

Banshee: Charles, if you don’t help us, we’ll search for the condoms ourselves.

ProfX: Can’t this wait?

HotHavok: Not really. Sean doesn’t want to wait for Erik to stop being a prick.

Banshee: Hormones, Charles!

ProfX: Yes, yes. I know. Look in the bedside table.

Banshee: I will.

Beast: Okay, the dictionary is in the library, I’ll bring it to your room, Charles.

ProfX: I want to know what he said to me in the morning, when we did it.

Mystique: Probably dirty talked.

MsMoira: I’m sure of that. 

Banshee: Charles, they aren’t in the bedside table either!

Magneato: Reg dich ab, Sean. [Calm down, Sean]

HotHavok: Sean, calm down, baby.

Banshee: You calling me baby isn’t helping. Why aren’t you looking for them?

HotHavok: I am. I’m in Charles’ room.

ProfX: Get out!

HotHavok: Why? Is there something I shouldn’t find?

HotHavok: There is. Don’t look into the box at the bottom of his closet. Charles, maybe lock that away.

ProfX: Alex! Erik, stop it please.

Magneato: Aber ich hab Lust darauf, Deutsch zu sprechen. [But I feel like speaking German]

Mystique: What’s in the box?

ProfX: Raven, not now.

MsMoira: Charles, could I call you.

ProfX: I have a boyfriend, who keeps speaking a language I can’t understand, two horny teenagers, who are rummaging through everything me and my boyfriend down and Raven who broke a damn chair on my hands. I can’t right now.

Magneato: Notgeile Teenager. [Horny teenagers]

MsMoira: Well, you need to sign some documents.

Mystique: What is in the box?

Banshee: Charles! Where are they?

HotHavok: Charles, tell us.

Magneato: Charles, sag es ihnen. [Charles, tell them]

Beast: I have the dictionary now.

ProfX: Everyone stop for a second. Hank, bring me the dictionary.

Beast: On my way.

ProfX: Alright, let me see.

Banshee: See what?

ProfX: Alright, Erik, stop speaking German, because you feel like it! Or in German: Erik, hör auf. [Erik, stop it]

Magneato: Ja, meinetwegen. [Yes, fine by me]

ProfX: Erik!

Magneato: Alright, I’ll stop. But only because I want to stop Sean and Alex from rummaging through my stuff.

ProfX: Good. Now, you go and help Alex and Sean find condoms, so they can finally calm down and be safe.

Magneato: Fine, but only so they’ll stop going through my stuff.

Banshee: Thank you!

HotHavok: Yes, thank you!

Magneato: Calm down. I’m on my way.

ProfX: Raven, I will not tell you about the inside of the box, but I will see if I can repair the chair. 

Mystique: Fine. But I think I know what kind of things are in the box.

ProfX: Of course you do. Now, Moira, you can call me and I will sign the papers, when I come over tomorrow. Just give me five minutes to go to my office.

MsMoira: Great, thanks.

Magneato: When I told you to put the box of condoms away, when we were cleaning up, I didn’t mean put it in my sock drawer, Charles.

ProfX: Sorry. Sean, Alex, are you alright? Do they fit?

HotHavok: Charles, stop. That is very invading. But yes, they do! I’m not small or anything.

Banshee: Alex, come to my room now!

HotHavok: Yes calm down, baby.

Banshee: Don’t call me baby, when you’re not here next to me.

HotHavok: On the way! We’re offline.

ProfX: Have fun and be safe.

Banshee: Yes, Dad.

ProfX: I just care about you. Well, Moira you can call me now. I will come down and look at the chair in a few minutes, Raven.

Mystique: Take your time. I’m in the lab with Hank.

Magneato: Ich bin im Wohnzimmer. [I’ll be in the living room.]

ProfX: Erik, stop.

Magneato: Fine.


	5. Breaking Windows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ProfX: I hate everything.
> 
> Mystique: What happened?
> 
> ProfX: Sean and Alex were in a kind of angry mood, so I quickly checked in on whether or not they were fighting. They weren’t. I checked in on them in a rather compromising situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, I had to postpone the angst a little bit. It'll come in the next chapter, though.  
> Anyways, little warning for references to sexual things.  
> Enjoy ^^

ProfX: I hate everything.

Mystique: What happened?

Magneato: Are you alright, love?

ProfX: Sean and Alex were in a kind of angry mood, so I quickly checked in on whether or not they were fighting. They weren’t.

Beast: What were they doing?

ProfX: I checked in on them in a rather compromising situation.

Beast: Oh no.

ProfX: Exactly. Oh no.

HotHavok: Charles, may I ask you a question?

Mystique: Shouldn’t you be railing Sean into oblivion?

Banshee: Raven!

Mystique: I’m not sorry.

ProfX: What is it, Alex? Do you need something?

HotHavok: What -for the love of everything that’s holy- where you doing in my head, while Sean and I were getting it on?!

ProfX: I simply wanted to see, if you were alright, since you seemed to be in a rather bad mood.

HotHavok: That was because your little boyfriend kept pushing us on and on during training, not taking into consideration that Sean’s voice was getting hoarse and I hurt my arm!

ProfX: Are you alright? 

HotHavok: It’s alright now. We argued with him and then went inside.

Mystique: And then you immediately though to yourself ‘You know what we should do? Rail each other!’? Nice train of thought there.

Banshee: For the love of God, Raven!

Mystique: Yes, for the love of God!

Beast: Was that an Edgar Allan Poe quote?

Mystique: Cask of Amontillado.

Beast: You’re getting more and more perfect every day.

Mystique: Thanks, that’s sweet of you!

Banshee: Eww and stop calling it ‘railing’!

Mystique: I’m trying to not be too vulgar.

Magneato: Alex, I’m not ‘his little boyfriend’. I can assure you, there is nothing little about me. Charles can testify for that.

ProfX: Erik!

Magneato: I am so sorry.

ProfX: Anyways, I’m sorry, Alex. I was just a little worried. I won’t check in on you again for the next hours. You can continue, if you want to.

Banshee: PLEASE! This is uncomfortable.

Mystique: What is? Did he really interrupt you in the middle of it?

Banshee: No, but our position is very uncomfortable and I want to do it now.

ProfX: No one’s stopping you. Go for it.

MsMoira: This encouraging on your part is weird, Charles.

ProfX: I’m trying to be encouraging and supporting.

HotHavok: Oh, we will be going for it. There was no encouragement needed. But thanks anyways. 

Banshee: See you later!

MsMoira: I’m a little uncomfortable.

Magneato: If you were on this chat more often, you’d be used to it by now.

ProfX: And now I want a word with you, Erik.

Mystique: Disgusting.

ProfX: No! I meant an actual word. You need to stop pushing the others like this, Erik. That’s not healthy. I know that you want them to do their best and to succeed and I really appreciate this, but this is not the way. You need to give them breaks.

Magneato: I wasn’t even pushing them that hard.

ProfX: Well, according to Alex, you were doing just that.

Magneato: They weren’t complaining. They didn’t even say that they needed a break. How was I supposed to know?

ProfX: Alright, I’ll tell them later that next time they need to tell you. But you should also look out for signs of exhaustion or injury.

Magneato: Alright, I promise. But they need to tell me.

ProfX: And I will tell them to tell you, darling. Just promise not to push them too hard.

Magneato: I do.

Mystique: Alex seems to not be too injured. I mean, if I was injured I surely wouldn’t go and have intercourse with someone not even half an hour after getting injured.

ProfX: Yes, he seems to be quite alright, which is great.

MsMoira: Does that mean the training is making progress? 

Magneato: Yes, it actually is.

ProfX: That’s really amazing. Just don’t push them too hard.

Magneato: Yes, Charles. You already said that.

Mystique: He’s just being a good mom. And Erik is being the dad that wants his kids to be really into sports. 

ProfX: Well, if I’m the mom of the group, you can bet I’ll be a good one.

Mystique: Haha, that’s the spirit!

Beast: That’s a little weird, but I guess it’s nice.

Mystique: And I’m the cool aunt that buys her nieces and nephews alcohol.

ProfX: And then gets yelled at by the mom for doing so.

Mystique: WOAH! What just happened?

Magneato: The window in the room I’m in shattered.

Mystique: Was that Sean?

ProfX: I guess so. Where are you, Erik?

Magneato: I’m three doors down from Alex’s room. Should I check if they are alright?

HotHavok: No need to. We’re fine. My ears hurt, but I’m fine. 

Banshee: I am so so so so so sorry. 

ProfX: It’s fine. We’ll repair them. You are here to learn to control your powers.

Banshee: I burst about six windows, though. I’m very sorry.

Mystique: Wow, Alex. You kind of earned my respect.

HotHavok: I’m good, I know.

Banshee: I’ll jump out the window frame now.

ProfX: It’s alright. You’ll be able to control your powers in no time! And then you can have an orgasm without causing property damage.

HotHavok: Sean sounds like he’s dying. 

ProfX: Sean, no need to be embarrassed.

Banshee: Hearing the sentence “you can have an orgasm without causing property damage” after shattering about six windows is embarrassing!

ProfX: It’s alright, Sean. No one will tease you about it. 

Magneato: Don’t be too sure about that. I now definitely know how they came up with the name ‘Banshee’.

HotHavok: Stop it, Erik. He’s not even looking at me anymore. He’s just hiding his face in my neck and making embarrassed noises.

Magneato: But this is really funny.

ProfX: Stop it, Erik. Or do you want me to tell everyone the real story behind the metal chairs and tables in the training room bending at impossible angles?

Mystique: I SAT ON THOSE! EWW!

Magneato: You promised not to tell them!

ProfX: And you promised to be nice to everyone a few days ago.

Magneato: I was just teasing!

ProfX: Sean is embarrassed enough as it is. But, Alex, are your ears alright?

HotHavok: I think I covered them in time. But they are still ringing. Can I borrow some of those ear muffs next time?

Banshee: ALEX!

ProfX: You can do that.

Banshee: CHARLES!

ProfX: By the way, I know post-coital cuddling is important, but would you mind leaving Alex’s room and doing it somewhere else? I mean, I don’t want you to freeze or hurt yourself on the glass.

Magneato: I think I got cut by the glass a little bit.

ProfX: What? Are you okay? Come downstairs and I’ll patch you up!

Magneato: I’m fine. Just a little cut. I’ll survive.

HotHavok: Sean says he’s very sorry. He’s just rambling on about being sorry and embarrassed.

Magneato: It’s fine. But going downstairs to have Charles patch it up sounds inviting.

Mystique: Disgusting.

Magneato: Why are you like this?

Mystique: I live with you.

ProfX: Alex, will you go to another room? You can help clean up, when you’ve calmed down. That must have been a shock.

HotHavok: Yeah, no I’ll be in one of the other rooms in a bit. I have to calm Sean down. He’s crying, I think. It’s because he hurt Erik. 

Magneato: Hey, tell him it’s alright. It’s just a little scratch. I’ve had worse happening to me. Accidents happen. It’s my payback for pushing you two too hard today.

HotHavok: I did. He calmed down a little bit. I think we’ll be in the guestroom. It’s really windy today.

ProfX: You can help clean it up later.

HotHavok: THERE’S A BIRD IN THE ROOM! 

Mystique: Hahahahahaha.

Beast: Well, great now we have to usher the bird outside. Tell me that the door to the room is closed, please.

HotHavok: No, you know? We did it with the door open, Hank!

Beast: Well, I don’t know what you two are into!

HotHavok: We’re five doors to the right now. 

Mystique: Yeah, I saw you. But you had the decency to put some clothes on at least. Still, why did you carry Sean?

MsMoira: Romance.

Mystique: He can walk by himself.

MsMoira: Alex just wanted to be considerate.

HotHavok: I’m not romantic.

MsMoira: Sure you are. Everyone enjoys a little bit of romance.

HotHavok: No, I don’t.

Mystique: Men.

MsMoira: Tell me about it.

Magneato: From what I’ve heard, Alex is quite gentle and romantic. 

Mystique: Exposed. 

ProfX: Is Sean alright?

HotHavok: Yes, his legs are just a bit wobbly still.

Mystique: Railed him too hard?

Banshee: Raven! 

ProfX: Are you okay?

Banshee: Yes. I think I’ll be staying celibate for a while.

Mystique: As if you could do that.

Magneato: I have a gag you could borrow.

MsMoira: Erik, please don’t.

ProfX: Erik!

Magneato: Would it bother you that Charles wore it once?

ProfX: Erik, stop it!

Magneato: What if I don’t? Will you punish me?

Mystique: Stop!

HotHavok: Sean read about the gag and gagged a bit.

ProfX: Anyways, we’ll clean this up and you can join us in a bit.

Banshee: I’ll use something else as a gag.

ProfX: But don’t get hurt and if you can’t speak, you need to agree on a sign language safeword. Or maybe knock on the bedpost three times.

Banshee: Yes.

ProfX: It’s important. And Alex has to watch for any signs of discomfort.

HotHavok: Not this again! We’ll be offline for a bit! Bye!

Banshee: Bye!

ProfX: Alright, who’s going to help me?

Mystique: I will, but if I find anything that is inappropriate, I will leave.

Magneato: I will. But first, I’ll take care of the bird.

Beast: I’ll help.

ProfX: At least I can afford to replace broken windows.

MsMoira: Hasn’t this happened before?

ProfX: Yes, but I don’t hold it against them. They are young and Sean needs to learn how to control his powers, like all of us. He’ll get better in no time.

Magneato: And then he’ll stop breaking all the windows.

ProfX: Exactly. Now let’s get to cleaning.

Mystique: I’m still traumatized about the gag, though.

MsMoira: Please don’t mention it again.

Mystique: Fair point.

ProfX: Thanks a lot, Erik.

Magneato: You told them about the chairs.

Mystique: Please don’t mention that, either.

ProfX: I guess we’re even, darling.

Magneato: We are. Alright, let’s get to cleaning, shall we?


	6. First Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Alex and Sean have their first fight and Charles tries to help without being too patronizing.

Magneato: Why did Sean just run to his room, crying?

Banshee: I’m not crying!

Magneato: Then I guess your eyes were just leaking. Maybe get that fixed or something.

ProfX: Erik! Sean, what’s wrong?

Banshee: Can you all leave me alone? And don’t you dare come to my room now!

ProfX: Then talk to me on here, please. Sean, why are you crying?

Mystique: He and Alex had their first fight.

Magneato: Good job Raven, now he’s crying harder. 

ProfX: Oh, Sean. It’ll be fine, sweetheart. There are fights in every relationship, but you will surely make up.

Banshee: He probably hates me! I’m such an idiot! Why can’t I stop being so damn clingy? Why can’t I be a good boyfriend?

ProfX: Sean, you’re in love. Of course you are clingy. But you can talk about it with him. Where’s Alex anyway?

Beast: He’s boxing in the training room. I don’t think he will respond.

ProfX: Sean, can I come to your room?

Banshee: No! I said no!

ProfX: Alright, then talk to me on here. What did you fight about?

Banshee: He told me to stop being so clingy, while he was training and I started to tease him. Then we started bickering. Then we started fighting and then he told me I was a total asshole and asked, what he even fell for in me and then I ran out, crying.

ProfX: Oh, sweetheart. I’m sure he didn’t mean it. We all say bad things when we’re angry. He still loves you very much.

Mystique: Mom of the year: Charles Francis Xavier.

ProfX: Raven, stop. If I’m a good mom, you should be a good aunt to Sean and talk to Alex, maybe.

Mystique: That was a weird thing to say, but I will.

ProfX: It’s not weird! Let me be a good mom, Raven.

Magneato: Just expect them all to call you “mom” now and make fun of you, because they will certainly do that, once this is settled.

ProfX: Well then so be it! Sean, the most important thing is that he still loves you very much, okay?

Banshee: That’s the thing. We never said ‘I love you’. Not yet. But now I won’t ever hear it from him. I just want him to say that he loves me. I know I’ve been pestering him about it too much, but I can’t help it.

Magneato: He’s crying EVEN harder. I’m getting him some water.

ProfX: Thanks. Sean, he does love you. I can tell. And not only because I can read minds, but because I can see it in his actions all the time.

Banshee: But I want him to say it!

ProfX: I know, but you need to give him time.

Banshee: When did Erik say that he loved you for the first time?

ProfX: Pretty early on actually.

Banshee: See? He doesn’t love me.

ProfX: Sure he does. Why wouldn’t you believe a telepath?

Banshee: Because you promised to never read our minds, if you can help it.

ProfX: But I can really sense his love.

Banshee: I guess you’re right.

Mystique: Are you a Disney Princess now or why can you suddenly “sense his love”?

ProfX: Raven, just talk to Alex.

Mystique: Alright, alright.

ProfX: Sean, you just need to give him some time, alright?

Banshee: I know. It just really hurts, when I tell him that I love him and he doesn’t say it back. I mean, he says that he’s in love with me, but that’s not the same.

ProfX: But it means that he still cares very much. Just wait a bit. Love is patient.

Magneato: How poetic.

ProfX: Erik, stop it.

Magneato: I’ll just try to talk to Alex.

ProfX: Thanks. Sean, are you alright? Are you at least a little better?

Banshee: Yes, a little. Thank you, Charles.

ProfX: Do you want me to come to your room now?

Banshee: I don’t know. Maybe. I could use a hug.

ProfX: Sure. I’ll hold you, if you need that. Sean, Alex will calm down and you will talk this out. I know it. But for now, let me come to your room and hug you real tight.

Banshee: Please.

ProfX: I’m on my way.

Magneato: Take the water, I’ve put on the stairs for him.

Mystique: Charles, that was really sweet.

MsMoira: Yes, it was.

Beast: Why does he have more mother instincts than any woman I’ve ever seen?

Mystique: I am more of the cool aunt. But I’ve talked to Alex.

Magneato: I helped!

Mystique: Do you want a medal now?

Magneato: Oh shut up.

HotHavok: Sean? I don’t know, if you read this right now, but I love you. I’m sorry that I never said it and never replied with ‘I love you, too’ when you told me you loved me. I was just a little scared of opening up like this. But now that you are crying this hard and doubting my love for you, I need to tell you. I love you. And I will never stop loving you, Sean.

Banshee: Really? You mean it?

HotHavok: Yes, of course. I’m so sorry about the things I said. Nothing I say in a fight, should ever leave you questioning my love for you and I am terribly sorry for that. I love you so endlessly.

Banshee: Really?

HotHavok: Yes. Please never say that I don’t love you, ever again.

Banshee: I love you, too.

HotHavok: I know. So, do you want to continue cuddling with Charles or can I come and take over that part?

Banshee: Please, do that.

ProfX: I’ll be gone now, Alex. But please try to not fight this hard next time. Maybe talk to me and I can mediate between the two of you.

Banshee: We’ll try.

ProfX: Please do so.

Magneato: You can stop patronizing them now.

ProfX: I am not.

Banshee: You kind of are.

ProfX: Well, I can stop, if you don’t like that. I don’t want you to feel weird.

Banshee: Do you see me complaining?

ProfX: See, Erik? They’re not even complaining.

HotHavok: My only complaint was the time you tried to give us the talk.

Banshee: Yes that was a little awkward.

HotHavok: I think we won’t answer for the next hour or so, because I want to show Sean how much I love him.

Mystique: Disgusting.

Banshee: It’s nothing suggestive.

HotHavok: Yet.

Beast: Why am I still on this chat?

Magneato: You made it, Hank!

Beast: And it got corrupted!

Magneato: Fair point.

ProfX: Have fun, boys and be safe.

Banshee: That just turned me off.

HotHavok: That was so weird and patronizing.

ProfX: Apologies.

Magneato: Charles is just trying to help you guys, because you have a serious lack of communication.

HotHavok: We do not.

Magneato: Yes, you do.

Banshee: And you and Charles have totally different world views and you are happy, so I’d say Alex and I will be fine.

Magneato: Just saying.

ProfX: Erik, leave them be. They just made up. They shouldn’t need to worry about this right now. It was just a little argument. Fighting in a relationship is rather healthy, if you fight in normal amounts and fight about normal things.

Mystique: How normal!

ProfX: I’m just saying, you don’t need to worry about that. It’s normal. And I’m always here to help.

HotHavok: Thanks, mom. But we’ll be offline for a while.

Magneato: Do I need to bring you earmuffs?

HotHavok: Not like that, Erik. We just want some time for ourselves.

Magneato: Is that a yes?

ProfX: Erik, stop teasing them.

Banshee: Thanks.

ProfX: But in you need a pair of earmuffs or something like a gag: the earmuffs are in the training room and for the gag, I’d suggest you could use a tie or a piece of fabric.

Banshee: Okay, we’re offline!

HotHavok: Bye!

ProfX: And be safe. And if you need anything else, call for me.

HotHavok: BYE!

ProfX: Anyways, Erik, how about we do something together?

Mystique: Do you need a gag?

ProfX: No, I mean like playing chess or read. Maybe we could just talk.

Mystique: Is that a yes?

Magneato: We’ll be offline.

Mystique: Have fun, but no too much fun. 

Magneato: Bye, Raven.


	7. Father Figure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magneato: What happened? Why is Sean yelling and why is Charles laughing so hard?
> 
> Mytsique: Sean called Charles “Dad”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll also be writing this as a text in prose. So if you'd like to read that, stay tuned.  
> Enjoy ^^

Magneato: What happened? Why is Sean yelling and why is Charles laughing so hard?

Mytsique: Sean called Charles “Dad”.

HotHavok: Do you call him “Daddy”, Erik? Or is it the other way around.

Magneato: And you immediately had to go there. Great.

Banshee: I didn’t call him “dad”. I called him “man”.

HotHavok: You called him “Dad”.

ProfX: It’s fine, Sean. Do you see me as a father figure?

Banshee: No! I didn’t call you that.

Beast: That’s actually really endearing.

ProfX: I know, right?

Magneato: Do I have to be his other dad, then?

HotHavok: That would make me your son-in-law.

Magneato: I don’t want that.

HotHavok: And I don’t want to be your son-in-law.

Mystique: One of you will need to leave your significant other then, I guess. There is absolutely no other way.

Banshee: No. Alex, no.

Mystique: Sean, calm down. It was a joke.

Banshee: I know.

ProfX: Do you want to talk about it to your Dad?

Banshee: Charles, stop it!

ProfX: I don’t answer to that anymore.

Beast: You just did.

ProfX: I’ll only answer to Dad now.

Banshee: I hate this household.

Magneato: Hey, don’t be rude to your Dad.

HotHavok: Can I call you Daddy then?

Magneato: I’ll ground you for eternity for that.

HotHavok: I’ll revoke my statement.

ProfX: It’s alright, if you see me as a father figure, Sean. I don’t think of it as weird.

Banshee: Alright. Just don’t be all patronizing about it.

ProfX: Never, dear.

Banshee: What was I expecting?

Magneato: I’m the beer dad.

ProfX: Wine mom.

Mystique: Absinthe sister

Beast: I’m just staying in the library for now, if you bring out the absinthe.

HotHavok: Hey, the New Year’s Eve Party was great.

Beast: I ended up in New Jersey.

HotHavok: Wait, really? That’s like the opposite side of the country.

ProfX: No, Alex. It really isn’t.

Banshee: Alex and I made out in Erik’s closet on the party.

Magneato: What? You little devils. You’re grounded.

HotHavok: You’re not my dad!

Banshee: Yeah, don’t act like our dad.

ProfX: Sean, you’re grounded young man.

Mystique: This is getting weird again.

Beast: A little too weird.

ProfX: I’m just kidding Sean, your father and I love you.

Magneato: Why wasn’t I consulted about this apparent adoption?

Banshee: You are not my dads!

ProfX: Not, yet.

Banshee: I’m going to scream.

ProfX: Please don’t break any windows.

Beast: Oh that was mean, Charles.

Mystique: You laughed about it, though.

Banshee: Screw this. Alex and I are going out.

ProfX: Put on a jacket.

Banshee: Charles, stop it!

HotHavok: It’s actually pretty sweet.

ProfX: He’s the baby of the family.

Banshee: I’m an adult.

ProfX: Sure thing, dear.

Mystique: So weird and patronizing.

ProfX: But in all seriousness, Sean. If you see me as a father figure –or a big brother- I’d feel incredibly honoured. You can always talk to me about anything, just like you would to a father or brother.

Banshee: A big brother figure doesn’t actually sound too weird or bad.

ProfX: I’d gladly be your brother figure. You can trust me.

Banshee: I know. I’d trust you with my life.

Mystique: That is actually really sweet; I’m tearing up.

Beast: If you make Raven cry, I’m gonna be mad.

Mystique: But those are happy tears.

Beast: Alright; but they’re on thin ice.

HotHavok: Sean, still up for going out? We could see a movie.

Banshee: I’d like that.

ProfX: Call me, if you need a ride home.

Banshee: We’ll take the bus.

Magneato: Just be careful.

Mystique: Erik is such a good dad, too.

Magneato: How old do you think I am, if Charles is the big brother and I am the dad?

Mystique: Sorry –actually, no, scratch that. I’m not sorry.

Magneato: Of course you’re not.

ProfX: And Alex, we will brush up on your knowledge of geography some time, if you think New Jersey is all the way across the country.

HotHavok: I was joking.

ProfX: No, you were not.

HotHavok: No, I was not. If you want to, I guess we could do geography. But I was actually worse in French.

Banshee: Bien fondue Eiffel tower.

Mystique: Yes, Sean. Bien fondue Eiffel tower.

Banshee: Je parle francais. Mais je ne suis pas trés bien.

Mystique: We could catch up on French! I speak French!

Banshee: Bien sûr.

Mystique: Great.

Magneato: Anyways, if Sean and Alex are going out, will they eat in the city? We could eat here, then. 

Banshee: Yes, we’ll get something to eat somewhere.

ProfX: Alright, have fun. And put on a jacket.

Banshee: Yes, dad.

ProfX: That was on purpose, right?

Banshee: Yes, of course.

HotHavok: Yes, sure.

Mystique: Wink wink nudge nudge.

Banshee: I’m leaving. Alex, come on.

HotHavok: On the way.

Mystique: Did we bully him away?

ProfX: He thinks it’s funny, too.

Beast: How can you tell?

ProfX: Really, Hank? How can I tell?

Beast: Ohhh, right.

Magneato: Shall we order food? How about Chinese?

Beast: Sure.

Mystique: Sure, big brother Charles.

Magneato: Just don’t be too patronizing.

ProfX: As if I’d ever be patronizing to you. We have sex. That would just be weird.

Mystique: I knew it.

Beast: We all did.

Mystique: I know. I just like to shout out “I knew it!”

Beast: I know. Anyways, meeting in the kitchen in 5 minutes?

Mystique: I’ll be there.

Beast: Charles? Erik?

Mystique: Guys?

Beast: Where did they go?

Mystique: Erik’s room.

Beast: We’ll order something for them. Do you know what they like? They can come down when they’re done up there.

Mystique: I have no idea what Erik likes. If he doesn’t like what I ordered, it’s tough luck for him.

Beast: I don’t think he’s too picky.

Mystique: Alright, I’m coming downstairs. See you.

Beast: See you.


End file.
